Homework: Is it building independence or dependence?

Isabella, my oldest and a 2nd grader, has a project due at the end of the week at school; the project is a poster board that describes the student's ancestral background.  As I was discussing it with my hubby, my very first comment was that "homework like this is more of a task for the parents instead of the student".  Almost immediately, my hubby responds, "Then have Isabella do this project on her own" and elaborated that it doesn't need to look like a parent did it, but rather be informative and useful in the classroom when she returns to school with it.

Usually, I am the type of parent that refuses to give out answers to homework.  I expect my 2nd grader and kindergartener to sit down and attempt to figure out the answers for themselves.  I'm willing to look over the homework afterward and circle wrong answers, but then I still expect them to take another look at it without being spoon-fed the answers.  The same goes for playing with eachother and playing in general; if it isn't an emergency, then I want them to find a solution to their problems.  It seems to me that a few generations of children now have been raised with so much help and "support" from their parents that they lack the problem-solving skills to deal with everyday situations they will encounter in life when the parents aren't there to fix everything for them (this is a broad topic and a pet peeve of mine; I'm sure I'll return to it sooner or later).  Of course, I want to believe that I am avoiding this pitfall by and large by encouraging problem-solving in my children and discouraging an exaggerated level of dependence on me, their mother.

That being said, my immediate response to Isabella's big school project, I am loathe to admit, was one of needing to jump right in and "fix" it for her; I already had most of the poster board preliminarily planned out in my mind before she and I had even had a chance to begin the interview process where she asks me for our family history.  It made me stop and reflect and ask myself if I really am allowing my children to deal with their own problems (at least the small ones) and problem-solve in a meaningful way.  It is a good challenge and reminder to allow my children to do their own work; it won't look like my work, in fact I'm sure it will be more creative and more interesting than anything I could have invented for them.

So, this afternoon, was Take 2 on Mom's approach to the ancestor project.  I had Isabella interview me and write down her answers using her own system of organization in her notebook.  Then, I asked her to begin a preliminary sketch of her poster board on a notebook page to get an idea of what she wants the final product to look like.  She decided to have a tree drawn in the middle with her name and those of her family members all on it.  I mentioned to her that I had seen a project like this in the Martha Stewart magazine and we looked it up on the "Martha" website.  I showed her all the different ideas that are presented in the article so that she could get a visual picture of different ways to show a family tree and she asked to use a template with a tree and birds.  Now, of course, this in and of itself could be seen as interferring to much already by offering this type of input, and maybe it is.  It's a fine line to walk, but in the end I hope that it is Isabella's project that she owns and of which she can be proud.  I pray that I'll have the wisdom to know when it is better to keep my mouth shut and not offer any advice at all. 

Branching Out: New Takes on the Family Tree   http://www.marthastewart.com/article/branching-out-new-takes-on-the-family-tree

Birds of a Feather Family Tree http://www.marthastewart.com/photogallery/make-a-family-tree